Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Nine Lessons and Carols for 2013

In 2006 I wrote this. It changed my life, esp No 8. Time has moved on and so have I. I've learnt a few things, made a few mistakes and sung a few songs. I thought I would share some of them, not because I think you need to hear them but because I need to write them. If they ring any bells, please let me know or simply share this with others. The music is from http://www.fingertipsmusic.com/

Enjoy it. Share it.



Lesson 1
Inspiration is not what you are looking for.

Inspiration is the something that, even if just for a moment, allows us to see within ourselves and see our true, inner self and its potential stripped of self doubt, self deprecation and reflected possibilities. Inspiration doesn't give us super powers, more it allows us to see what we might achieve if we tried. Inspiration isn't what you are looking for, what you are looking for is your inner self. Go on, do it. I did. A little talk I gave on the subject.

Carol 1
I'm Just About Done- Matt Longo

Lesson 2
The warning light on the car dashboard isn't just mucking around.

Seriously. The little light came on months ago. And nothing seemed to be a problem. To be honest I couldn't afford another service where I just pay a lot for not very much. So I ignored it and carried on. Then the engine blew up. £5000. It's probably a metaphor. If that means anything to you, then get the engine checked. If you know what I mean. Seriously.

Carol 2
Mrs Marquis de Sade- The Cloud Room

Lesson 3
People like you just the way you are.

Another year wearing a ridiculous moustache for a month, a few pounds heavier and definitely greyer than I was. If I could change these things I probably would but if I have learnt one thing this year it is that people accept you just the way you are. That self criticism bollocks is just that. Sure I could lose a few pounds, look a bit younger whatever. Those who matter, like you just the way you are. Do you ever look at a friend and think, seriously, I'd like him a bit more if he had his ears pinned back? My worst critic won't love me any more if I change, I'll just find something else to get at me about. But what do I know?

Carol 3
Dans le Noire- Juniore

Lesson 4
I am not good at self evaluation.

The whole self deprecation thing is common, if intriguing. Consequently, honest self evaluation is both fraught with double turns of complexity and clearly inaccurate. External views are much better and best received from a friend. We then usually try to complicate that by assuming the report is only a sanitised version to make us happy as we seek criticism in everything we do. For once, just listen to the majority of external voices when you receive praise and believe it. And yes, I said majority. I've even less understanding why we can hear multiple compliments and ignore them but one negative note becomes our focus and theme.

Carol 4
Like A Woman Can- Kim Taylor

Lesson 5
Even personal attacks aren't personal.

When bad stuff goes down and you are the brunt or point of someone else's ire, anger, upset or criticism it as actually ALL about them. Chances are that if you weren't there it would be some other fool getting it. I appreciate that it feels personal but actually it's all about them, their hangups, their desire to rule the world and their feelings of inadequacy. Sadly, you fit the bill that day but it isn't about you.

Carol 5
The Hunted- Blurry Lines

Lesson 6
Everyone needs a bit of coaching.

It took me a while to recognise but the best sportsmen and women, the best actors, the best musicians and the best at most things in life have neither achieved that on their own nor rely on their own self reflection to make further improvements. What keeps them improving, and they do, is coaching. And me? I'm just perfect in every way, thank you...er.

Carol 6
Freshbloom- Sundara Karma

Lesson 7
As you walk, look people in the eye and smile.

A little lesson I learned this year and wrote about here. As you walk along, instead of avoiding people's gaze, seek it out and as you acknowledge each other and walk past, just smile. It's too quick to be accusatory, critical, leery or anything negative, it is just human connection. And if your smile made someone else smile, isn't that a good thing?


Carol 7
Skyballer- Lemonade

Lesson 8
Just dance.

Amusing and slightly drunken discussion at a party recently where I was being teased a little about my age by someone half as young as me. For no particular reason he stopped, stared intently as drunk people do and earnestly enquired, "So what life advice would you give me, old man?" I pondered as only one can after a few too many and replied, "Just dance." I can't have been that drunk because the more I think about it, the more apt is seems for so many situations. Just dance!


Carol 8
Corsica- Son of Stan

Lesson 9
There is no 9th lesson.

What did you learn this year? What thought struck the proverbial chord and resonated for longer than just a second? What insight have you to share? Life is about sharing.


Carol 9
Santa Claus is Coming to Town- Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band



The Blessing

Have a wonderful Christmas, hug those that you love and treasure them as they treasure you.



1 comment:

rachel rowlands said...

Lesson 9- you can't beat the waves, but you can learn to surf...
And surfing with a smile on your face brightens everyone's day!
Merry Christmas Mr F- here's to 2014- a year I've decided will be my best yet, come what may :)