Lesson 1
Forgiveness starts with you.
Life has moved a long was since I started writing these but the most important thing that happened was that in Dec 2006 as I wrote this. I forgave George for something that had happened. Why it happened is of course complex but the most important thing for me was that I stopped the anger in me and put aside everything that it was doing to me. It didn't change the thing that had happened but it changed me. That sounds very selfish now but the reality is that bitterness and anger is selfish and mostly self destructive and that needed to change in me. So, I did. And then things started to change.
Carol 1
Lesson 2
Laugh at yourself with others
Life IS funny. We do stupid and silly things. Sometimes it is really good just to share that and laugh, with other people. Taking myself too seriously has never helped whereas laughing more definitely has: running out of petrol on the motorway because I was running through a presentation as I drove; the DJ not turning up for my 50th birthday party; my Movember moustache; arranging to meet a friend for coffee and being in the other coffee shop in the city. Sharing these stories does show up frailty and not being perfect, but they are funny.
Carol 2
Lesson 3
If you actually knew how good you were you would be even better
The whole self deprecation thing is bollocks. And I've talked about it before. One thrill for me in being a teacher is in being able to encourage and inspire people. Often, working with colleagues I see that their self deprecation is the main reason for them struggling to be not just good but excellent. Many people will have encouraged them I'm sure but I belieive that if they could know, if you could know actually how good you are, that in itself would make you even better. Rather than putting yourself down, if you could actually see how good you are, you would be so encouraged.
Carol 3
Lesson 4
The most dangerous driver is in your rear view mirror
I do a lot of driving, more than 30,000 miles a year and the majority of that is on the motorways. I have come to realise that the most dangerous driver is in my rear view mirror. He can be impatient, has unrealistic expectations of traffic flow, thinks the world should understand his every whim and acceed to it, that his driving is perfect and that his interpretation of why things happen is the only way; all other opinions are flawed. And I can only just see his left ear in the mirror. I think his driving actually has improved a lot in these few years and I hope he continues that.
Carol 4
Lesson 5
Memories are for the future
I've got some wonderful memories: amazing places I've been to; special times shared with special people; moments of passion; moments of sadness, laughter and tears, art galleries; fairground; beaches; coffee shops; the touch of a hand; a face at the airport. They make my life so special and I am grateful. But their importance is not for the past, reminiscence or sadness but about making the future even better. Let's make more memories?
Carol 5
Lesson 6
You are worth so much more than you know.
I don't fully understand depression although I have suffered from it, nor do I understand how one could be so utterly sad that you believe suicide is the only way. I recently struggled when I friend told me of this. All I could think to say was they they mattered to me and that they mattered to other people too. It seemed so insignificant amongst all their sadness but they did, they really do matter and it would break my heart for them not to know that. Tell them.
Carol 6
Lesson 7
Listen more.
I talk too much. I offer ideas and suggestions when it would be so much better if I just listened more. I'm learning that.
Carol 7
Lesson 8
The best thing about knowledge is sharing it.
I've become rather good at presentations. I've done a lot of thinking and a lot of talking with some amazing people about presentations. The best thing about presentations is not giving them but helping other people to get better at them. Sharing knowledge about something helps you understand it better. Seeing others learning from that sharing is incredible. So if you know something, share it. Knowledge is free.
Carol 8
Lesson 9
Life is a journey, not a destination
I look back and I think. Sometimes I've made bad decisions and hurt people for which I'm sorry but I hope I've learned a little and moved on. It seems that life isn't about a goal or perfection but the journey and I'm thankful for the folks that share that journey with me, their wisdom and passion and the experiences we have on the way.
Happy Christmas to everyone travelling this way, even for the shortest time.
Carol 9
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